From Conflict to Connection. A New 9-step Program by Dr. Tony Fiore
They say that doctors make the worst patients. I sometimes wonder if this is true for psychologists who seek counseling. In my profession, the majority of my day is spent listening. In fact, I have spent much of the past 40 years listening to my patients, being there for their highs and lows, guiding them…
An Encounter with Mr and Mrs Irate
Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the holiday season are by far my most treasured times of the year. My family comes together; we bask in the glow of stories of old, we meet the new faces that come into our home, and, of course, we eat ourselves silly, take luxurious midday naps, and learn colorful new words…
Taking Control When Emotions Run Hot
“You know Doc, it’s not my fault people don’t understand me. If they could only see the situation from my point of view, I wouldn’t get angry. You know what I mean?” Of course, I know what he meant. If only life took us by the hand and led us down a path paved with…
Is Politics Affecting Your Relationship?
Throughout my life, I have seen political opponents come and go, listened to people speak of their differing opinions, and watched the events surrounding Washington play out without directly impacting my practice. However, our political climate has been so emotionally charged over recent years that the divide between sides has never been more significant. In…
Align Your Expectations and Decrease Conflict
Expectation. This single word can cause so much conflict in a relationship. At some point, we all have expectations in a partnership, such as how the other person will behave, think, or feel, and these expectations stem from our own world experiences and personal values. When our expectations are not met, we can feel irritated,…
Do you believe in forgiveness or revenge?
This topic brings out many conflicting emotions; many of my patients admitted to struggling with the concept of forgiveness and letting go of grievances. Some of my patients feel they need to get even in order to feel vindicated, while others think they will be seen as wimps, especially if the grievance was done on…
Part Two: Retreat and Think Things Over.
Take the High Road. In my previous post, we learned what happens to our bodies in times of stress, how our brain releases stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline, and how this quickly begins to course through our bodies, increasing our heart rate and blood pressure. In this post, I explain how to take…
Retreat and Take Time to Think Things Over.
How to Let Calmer Heads Prevail. Part one. Cassie and Phil loved each other dearly but often found themselves in heated verbal battles over almost anything and everything. The most minor disagreements quickly became a full-fledged war over who was right and who was wrong. This left Cassie and Phil feeling exhausted, emotionally disconnected from…
Should You Forgive? The Power of Letting Go.
Long-term relationships come with a myriad of challenges. From learning to accept quirks that grate your nerves to reconciling after a full-blown argument. Every relationship has highs and lows; it helps us grow together and understand and respect each other’s boundaries. We discover what we are willing to change within reason and what is a…
Playing The Blame Game: The Detrimental Impact of Avoiding Responsibility
Life would be blissful and easy in a perfect world, and blame would never point in our direction. We could skate through life doing what we pleased, never being held accountable for our actions. Unfortunately, such a world does not exist, and we all must take responsibility. While conflicts and disagreements are a normal part…
Coping Strategies, How to Survive Bullying from Authority Figures
Bullying is a distressing experience, especially when it originates from someone in a position of power or authority. When this happens, you can feel helpless and powerless to speak your mind for fear of retaliation, leaving you trapped between a rock and a hard place. On the one hand, you would like to tell the…
Healing Your Relationship: Overcoming Communication Breakdown
Healthy communication is the heartbeat of any relationship, a tie that connects two individuals, allowing them to understand, empathize, and support each other in the good and bad times. A solid relationship filled with harmony and understanding relies heavily on effective communication. When communication breaks down within a relationship, it can be incredibly distressing for…
Managing Expectations and Reducing Holiday Stress
The holiday season is a time when we pile in the car, drive around our neighborhood, look at the fairy land that is Christmas, and marvel at the creativity of our neighbors. The shops are filled with endless gift opportunities, and the scent of pine trees and gingerbread cookies wafts through our home. It is…
Navigating the Holiday Season: Strategies for Dealing with Problematic Family Members
Thanksgiving is a time of joy, celebration, and eating massive amounts of food while the buttons on our pants strain for dear life. It’s when families come together to create lasting memories and reminisce about past feasts, succulent turkey, and football games won and lost. However, this time of year can also be challenging for…
Understanding Marital Dynamics: Objective and Subjective Realities
In my decades of practice, I have learned that subjective reality has much to answer for. If it were a character in a novel, it would most certainly be the most cunning and manipulative antagonist. Subjective reality has caused some of the largest roof-raising arguments I have ever heard, and if we look back at…
Harmful Communication versus Assertive Communication, Part 2.
Last week, we looked at two forms of harmful communication, how they could negatively affect a relationship and alternative ways to communicate so that resolution occurs positively and healthily. This week, we continue our journey into this topic. Harmful communication style #1 – Contempt. Contempt is a communication style that expresses feelings of inferiority, where…
Harmful Communication versus Assertive Communication
It is easy to fall into communication patterns that harm us and those around us. Unfortunately, this often results in tense workplace relationships, soured friendships, and, in the case of your relationship, partner conflict that can inevitably lead to divorce. Today, we will address two harmful communication styles and offer some techniques and examples to…
Navigating daily stress in an overwhelming world.
Every day, the world we live in presents us with innumerable challenges. This results in a constant source of stress; from worrying if we are going to be on time to pick up the kids, what to prepare for dinner with little in the fridge to having to take time from work to care for…
Should I forgive? How to let go of resentment and move forward in your relationship.
It takes a lot of mental and emotional energy to hold a grudge. Negative feelings have the ability to hold us captive, keeping us in the past and preventing us from moving forward in life. When we hold a grudge in a relationship, we remain with one foot firmly planted in the past. Some people…
The Significance of Social Awareness
Social awareness plays a crucial role in our interactions with others, yet some people seem completely unaware of the impact they have on those around them. They may unintentionally upset people in various settings, like at work or within their family, yet remain puzzled when confronted with negative reactions. Their lack of empathy prevents them…
Why couples fight: A Psychologist’s guide to understanding relationship conflict $14.95
This innovative mini course provides you with an insight into the dynamics of your relationship. We show you how to recognize dysfunctional patterns, give insight into why you fight and explore the neurobiological responses of the brain in stressful situations. We then provide you with a set of techniques to follow to effectively and harmoniously…